A Story for Mothers

Today’s post is a story of when breaking a rule isn’t such a bad thing.  This was one of those moments I needed to keep my flexibility meter up.  While enforcing rules (in general) is vital to maintaining a disciplined household, knowing when to be flexible to very important as well.

A couple of nights ago, I had placed my 4 year old to bed.  In my home, once a child is placed in bed, they are expected to rest and go to sleep.  Although my older child can read (no televisions in bedrooms) in his bed, I haven’t implemented that policy for my younger one yet.

As the story goes, around 30-45 minutes had passed after I placed my children to bed. My wife went upstairs (where the kids sleep) to change into her pajama’s.  It took a lot more time for her to change than usual but I didn’t question anything.  I had had a long day and was exhausted.

The next morning, I mentioned something about the prior night in passing.  What happened was my wife peeked in on my 4 year old.  Unfortunately, he wasn’t quite asleep.  He looked up at her and sweetly asked, “Mommy, will you rock me?”  Though Lauren and I have the same general bedtime policies, she gave in.

The way she explained the situation was beyond question to me.  In essence, she said that the day will come when he’ll never ask to be rocked again.  Now, there may be a cynic or two who will question her decision on the basis of breaking routines.  But, here’s what I have learned after years of working with children.  You have to be clear to a child on your rules.  Your child has to be clear on the rules.  Then and only then can you take a jackhammer and smash a rule occasionally.

Tonight, of course, I’ll place the children to bed and make sure my wife stays the heck away from them.  (Ha Ha- just kidding)

Have a fabulous weekend and I’ll write to you again Tuesday.

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  1. My four year old wouldn't want to be rocked, but every once in a while she needs a little extra check in time, and that's ok. Growing up is hard work and when the lights go down they are flooded with all if the info processed throughout the day…I think it's ok to give them what they need to have a restful sleep. They don't, however, need 15 glasses of water 😉

  2. Krista says:

    There will only be a small window of time in which your wife can hold and rock your son… a few more years and then never again. As a mom of a 13 and 18 year-old, I'd say enjoy those moments because your relationship changes with your children as they age. It's still wonderful but different from when they were little.

  3. Beth w says:

    I think she made a good choice. This is one exception where I think it's okay to break a rule on occasion, now I don't believe that this should happen every night. Let's say this child starts getting smart about it and realizes it's a way to prolong having to go to bed and ask for it every night then well that's not okay to me, rules are there for a reason- we have such trouble with bedtime at our house that I do believe that and my husband is usually the one who has to implement bedtime because I feel like by that time of day the kids are done listening to me so my efforts are not worth much.

  4. Stacie says:

    Mommy's need those moments… I would have rocked too:-) Glad I discovered you on Wild Wkd Hop.

  5. Julie says:

    Wonderful and insightful. My own child is to big to rock now, but I remember those quiet moments when she was big enough for that. I found through a Monday Blog Hop and I hope to read more.

  6. Michelle says:

    I totally agree with this! There definitely will be a time when he won't ask any more. I just look at it as extra cuddle time. As long as he knows he can't get away with it every night.

  7. Pamela says:

    So true about the rules…with my daughter the first baby–her sleep time had no rhyme or reason—OUR FAULT, but when my son came along then a strick bedtime rotine was put ito effect–MOSTLY for my sanity! =) What a differance it made. I also have no TV's in the kids rooms-their friends all think its the strangest think =} but both my kids love to read.
    TY for stopping by my blog I like the feedback.

  8. Irene says:

    I would be breaking the rules just about every single night. grab every moment you can. Mommies are bad at keeping that rule – LOL!