Tag Archive for Children Youth and Family

A Story for Mothers

Today’s post is a story of when breaking a rule isn’t such a bad thing.  This was one of those moments I needed to keep my flexibility meter up.  While enforcing rules (in general) is vital to maintaining a disciplined household, knowing when to be flexible to very important as well.

A couple of nights ago, I had placed my 4 year old to bed.  In my home, once a child is placed in bed, they are expected to rest and go to sleep.  Although my older child can read (no televisions in bedrooms) in his bed, I haven’t implemented that policy for my younger one yet.

As the story goes, around 30-45 minutes had passed after I placed my children to bed. My wife went upstairs (where the kids sleep) to change into her pajama’s.  It took a lot more time for her to change than usual but I didn’t question anything.  I had had a long day and was exhausted.

The next morning, I mentioned something about the prior night in passing.  What happened was my wife peeked in on my 4 year old.  Unfortunately, he wasn’t quite asleep.  He looked up at her and sweetly asked, “Mommy, will you rock me?”  Though Lauren and I have the same general bedtime policies, she gave in.

The way she explained the situation was beyond question to me.  In essence, she said that the day will come when he’ll never ask to be rocked again.  Now, there may be a cynic or two who will question her decision on the basis of breaking routines.  But, here’s what I have learned after years of working with children.  You have to be clear to a child on your rules.  Your child has to be clear on the rules.  Then and only then can you take a jackhammer and smash a rule occasionally.

Tonight, of course, I’ll place the children to bed and make sure my wife stays the heck away from them.  (Ha Ha- just kidding)

Have a fabulous weekend and I’ll write to you again Tuesday.

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The Finish Line

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Friday.  Today’s post centers on your assessment of the school year for your child.  It’s important to know what went right and what needs to be improved in order to send a stronger child to the next grade.  I’m certainly not saying all children need to work long days throughout the summer.  But, if you can help to tweak a couple of areas where your child struggled, the benefits could be significant. Here are some questions I think you may want to consider.

How did your child do? You’ve heard from the companies who handle standardized tests.  You’ve most likely seen the final grades or have a good idea what they will be.  What is your final assessment, as a parent, on how the school year went overall?

Did your child receive the grades deserved?  And, without laying guilt on yourself- what, if anything- should you have done differently to help your child?  Be brutally honest when trying to answer this question.

Were old friendships strengthened with peers?  Were new friendships built?  Do you feel your child is ready for the next grade academically, socially, and emotionally? More importantly, does your child feel ready in these three areas?

Are there any lingering problems that need your attention such as bullying, teasing, or general unhappiness?  Time does heal some wounds but ignoring problems typically does not cause them to go away.

Finally, this last point will lead to a future post but what about the overall confidence level of the child?  Is it as high as you’d like to see it?  Was your child’s confidence tested by difficult assignments or tricky situations with peers?  If their confidence was tested, do you feel your child is more confident or less confident in themselves now that the school year is over?

I hope answering these questions will help put into focus what needs to be addressed over the summer.  I’ll be back on Tuesday with another post.  Best wishes to all of your children.  May they have more fun this summer than all previous one’s put together!!!

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